No, nothing to do with Up Pompeii.

Internet forums, I’m just about done with them. You seem to get a small number of categories that the people who frequent them fit into. It could just be life, not forums – as you seem to come across these people at work too.

  1. Clueless. Like the PHB’s who are security penetration testing using Windows machines, oblivious to the broken IP stack thats probably causing them to miss hundreds of vulnerabilities. Computer forums for this lot, as the people who have a clue are on mailinglists or usenet – used to be IRC, but now thats just full of kids trying to get on Bash

  2. Opinionated (but also clueless). Like those who spout lots of advice to people, just for the sake of talking. They don’t actually know what they’re talking about, but they have to chime in to be noticed. The dangerous thing with these is #1’s will believe them. This lot usually hang out on expat forums talking about speed cameras. They can also misquote your knowledgeable advice to others, as they think they understand.

  3. Beyond Help. They’re the ones who ask for help but are unwilling to actually try anything you recommend to them as they see it as their God-given right not to have to do anything for themselves. They often also will only listen to “official sources” or talk to managers. Caste structure anyone?

  4. Abusers or Trolls. Those who just seem to hang out to piss people off. The worst kind are the ones who are also #3’s, there’s nothing like giving up some of your time to get insulted in return.

  5. Pointless. These types usually hang around bargain forums or Digg, they just put one word answers in, like “RTFM” or +1 the voting system. These people aren’t worth the bandwidth, and in fact should be invoiced for wasting oxygen being alive. They’re also likely to be Facebook whores (those who just befriend everyone and make a “wall” entry about how they just opened an envelope).

  6. Spammers. Well they had to get a mention didn’t they. The types that hang around torrent sites linking to trojans on rapidshare or spouting “FAKE” on everything. Like you’re going to go to The Pirate Bay to look for a good foreign exchange agent.